A difficult dilemma

My friend has only one son, autistic, and she now wants to expand the family and bring him a brother or sister – but her husband is very much afraid that the second child born to them will be also on the spectrum.

Last week, I called my good friend, who is also a mother to an autistic child. Before I could greet her, she told me: “So good you called, I need to consult with you.”
My friend has only one son, autistic, and she now wants to expand the family and bring him a brother or sister – but her husband is very much afraid that the second child born to them will be also on the spectrum. After I recovered from this bomb thrown at me over the phone, I told her that this was indeed a very complex issue that almost any parent of an autistic child has to deal with at some stage of his life.
Although the cause of autism is not yet defined, it is known that there is a genetic factor involved. The assumption is that a number of damaged genes are causing this syndrome but the scientists have not yet identified with certainty those genes that are responsible directly.  The odds of having another child with autism in a family that already has one autistic child are 50 times higher than in a family which has no autistic child.

But troubling of all is the fact that to this date no medical examination – physical or genetic can diagnose autism before birth. Autism is a syndrome, meaning a child with autism can be diagnosed only by the existence or absence of certain behaviors, and usually only after the first year of the infant’s life. One-third of autistic children develop properly until the age of 1-1.5 years old and some of them even develop a language – but then they suffer a regression and lose some of the capabilities already acquired. I know quite a few families who are razing two children with autism, and it is a real challenge (to say the least).

On the other hand, I know families with one autistic child, who found the courage to have more children and they were born completely normal. I can attest to myself that I didn’t have the courage to get pregnant again after my son was diagnosed and this is the reason I have only two children. Quick review on the families of most of my friends reveals a similar situation: two children, the oldest is N.T (Neurotypical} and the youngest is on the autistic spectrum.

My decision not to have another child after my son was diagnosed was not an easy one. I always wanted at least three children but I realized that I don’t have enough resources to raise more than one autistic child. My friend explained to me that her situation is a little different than mine because my son has at least one sister and her son is growing up as an only child and she so wants him to have a brother or sister. As we kept talking it became clear to me that my friend wants a second child at any coast and she is ready to take the risk. She told me she has a moral problem with abortions so even if there had been a test to discover autism before birth she would have had the child anyway.  I’m glad these doubts are long behind me but suddenly I wondered: if there would have been a test for detecting autism while I was pregnant with my son, could I have really end the pregnancy and thereby losing my amazing son? I can only thank God that that did not put me to this trail. 

Related Posts
How to Get Tested for Autism as an Adult: A Comprehensive Guide
Table of Contents:IntroductionRecognizing the Signs of Autism in AdultsWhere to Begin: Seeking a Professional EvaluationPreparing for Your AssessmentThe Diagnostic Process for Adult AutismAccessing Support and Resources After DiagnosisConclusionIntroduction:Autism Spectrum Disorder ...
READ MORE
Suggested sensory toy – A Fun and Therapeutic Sensory Toy for All Ages
I recently had the opportunity to try out the Caterpillar Stretchy Sensory Toy, and I must say, it is an excellent product that offers great value. The vibrant colours immediately ...
READ MORE
Autism training-Potty Training Tips
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_PkL3wnzXAPotty Training Autistic Toddlers: A Guide for Parents Potty training toddlers can be challenging for any parent but incredibly daunting for children with autism. Unlike typical children, children with autism may ...
READ MORE
Autism disorders affect one in 110 children in the U.S.--or perhaps more--but the method of diagnosing the condition, which is characterized by difficulties socializing and communicating, among other behavioral and ...
READ MORE
Goodbye laminated pictures… Hello iPrompts®
the original picture-based prompting app for the iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad. Thousands of caregivers use iPrompts® to provide visual support for those with language and behavioral challenges, including autism and ADD/ADHD. ...
READ MORE
Understanding the Process: What Happens After a Referral for an Autism Evaluation
The diagnostic evaluation is a comprehensive process designed to either confirm or rule out a diagnosis of autism. It can include several elements:Behavioral Observation: Specialists will observe the individual's behavior ...
READ MORE
Finding Support for Siblings of Children with Autism
Having a sibling with autism can pose challenges. It's common to feel envious of the extra attention given to your autistic sibling or to find it hard to connect with ...
READ MORE
Zac Browser  is the first Internet browser developed specifically for children living with variants of autism spectrum disorders
Zac Browser is a totally free software package. It is the first Internet browser developed specifically for children living with variants of autism spectrum disorders (ASD), Asperger syndrome, Rett syndrome, ...
READ MORE
Autism Speaks Launches Transition Tool Kit to Help People with Autism Navigate the Journey from Adolescence to Adulthood
Autism Speaks, the world's largest autism advocacy organization, has launched a new transition toolkit to help people with autism navigate the journey from adolescence to adulthood. The toolkit, available online, ...
READ MORE
Embracing Autism: Personal Reflections on Creating a Structured and Predictable Environment for Saar
As I continue to share my experiences as a single mother embracing autism, I want to offer a more personal perspective on how I've created a structured and predictable environment ...
READ MORE
How to Get Tested for Autism as an
Suggested sensory toy – A Fun and Therapeutic
Autism training-Potty Training Tips
In New Study, MRI Scans First Provide Way
Goodbye laminated pictures… Hello iPrompts®
Understanding the Process: What Happens After a Referral
Finding Support for Siblings of Children with Autism
Zac Browser is the first Internet browser
Autism Speaks Launches Transition Tool Kit to Help
Embracing Autism: Personal Reflections on Creating a Structured

DrorAr101

My name is Adi, and I am the proud parent of Saar, a lively 17-year-old who happens to have autism. I have created a blog, 101Autism.com, with the aim to share our family's journey and offer guidance to those who may be going through similar experiences. Saar, much like any other teenager, has a passion for football, cycling, and music. He is also a budding pianist and enjoys painting. However, his world is somewhat distinct. Loud sounds can be overwhelming, sudden changes can be unsettling, and understanding emotions can be challenging. Nevertheless, Saar is constantly learning and growing, and his unwavering resilience is truly remarkable.

You may also like...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: